Archive for April, 2014

Adjustable Wrench

I used to be flexible or adjustable, now not so much. I’m constantly losing things and letters, like the letter R. So, now I’m a wench. My best friend, aka-hubby, asked me to put together a double bicycle stand, mistake number one.

Yes, I read the directions !

They called for an adjustable wench. All right! “I’m here.” Says I. Remember, these directions were printed in China, as is everything.

It took far too long, but yes, it’s ready. Not one time did I use a wench, other than me. The kit included an Alan wench, poor Alan. All the nuts, including me, and bolts and screws (no comments here) are out of the box and attached somewhere on the bicycle stand. I think. Mistake Number Two.

This entire experience is reflective of writing the first draft of a novel. My characters want to be adjustable, my protagonist is a wench and all the pieces are out of the box and attached to something, but will it hold together under the dreaded edits?

Wait! I found the R!

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Following Directions has not been my forte. For example, when I cook, hell, when I enter my kitchen my appliances laugh. So, two days ago I attempted to cook for a family gathering. Please, dear reader, understand when I cook, it’s total experimentation. Cook Books and I are not in the same genre. I prefer Romantic Mysteries: Swamp Mysteries. I digress.

Betty Crocker (circa 1970) opened to page 371, a gathering of supplies needed to attack…da da…potato salad. After a concentrated effort…yes, wait for it…success. Sincere family compliments flowed over me like a deserved RITA award. At least I think they were sincere.

There’s a writers lesson here. When I think of it I’ll let you know or when you think of it let me know. Meanwhile I’m staying away from the kitchen, cook books, and Betty.

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In my beloved Swamps surrounding my fictional town of Lake Wheatley Mother Nature does nothing in singles. There are numerous shades of green on the early spring buds. There are multiple species of bugs competing for each of floras and fawnas. I continue to have various questionable spellings. Multiple colors and brands of trucks line up at the fishermen’s loading ramps for a stiff very early morning competition. Even the weathermen are confused over the multiple early spring forecasts: sunny, partly sunny, rainy, windy, pollen count, thunderstorms, hail, tomatoes, (opps, tornadoes)

I’m a fan, a big one, of Mother Nature. Her multiples appear in my books, my Swamp setting novels. My characters tend to follow her lead by jumping into multiple suspenseful adventures. In my latest, Swamp Home, why couldn’t Garret just enjoy a quiet kayak ride? Why did she have to discover a naked body floating in the weeds? When she went shopping in the community thrift shop why did she become a victim of a kidnapping? Why didn’t she just buy those old National Geographics and get out of there? Why didn’t Cain just stay home with Ramsey instead of going to a deadly Friday night high school football game? Multiples.

I love Mother Nature, my readers, and multiples.

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